Feeling Old

Customer: Why are the T-bones so cheap?

Me: They’re just the sale item this week.

Customer: What’s wrong with them? Are they old?

Me: No. I just got them in. They’re just on sale.

Customer: No way. I know how you operate. You put old stuff on sale. I’m not falling for that!

(She proceeds to buy a fillet mignon, the sale item from last week)

Stake Out

 (The phone rings)

Me: Meat Department. How may I help you?

Customer: Hi. Did you serve an older man in his early 50s with salt and pepper hair? He would have been buying a couple of steaks?

Me: Um....I’m not sure. We’ve served a bunch of customers today.

Customer: I’m in there all the time with my husband. He’s real tall and good looking. I’ve got short brown hair. Did you serve him?

Me: I mean, it’s possible. Was there a problem with the steaks?

Customer: No. I’m out of town. I think my husband is cheating on me. That’s why I wanted to know how many steaks he bought. It’s just him this week, he shouldn’t be buying two. Can you guys check the transactions?

Me: That’s not really something we can do. I’m sorry.

Customer: Next time I come in, I’ll introduce myself so you can keep an eye out.

Give Or Take

Customer: How many of these shrimp come in a pound?

Me: There are about 13-15 shrimp in a pound.

Customer:  I only want a pound.  Don’t go over. I’ll take 15.

(I start to count out 15 shrimp, working to pick ones that will get him close to a pound)

Customer: I don’t want that smaller one! I want this big one!

Me: The bigger shrimp will put it closer to 13 rather than 15.

Customer: Oh I see! You’re trying to short me by giving me the smallest shrimp!

Me: Sir, they’re sold by the pound. A pound will always cost the same no matter how many shrimp. 

Customer: Keep them! I don’t want anything from someone trying to cheat me! You do you!

(He storms off)