What Took So Long

Customer: I want 7 containers of your smoked salmon and I want each one to be $6.50. 

Me: Okay. It’s gonna take me like 5 or 6 minutes to weigh those out so I get the price right.  

(He walks away and returns like 90 seconds later)  

Customer: You’re still not done?!?? 

Me: I’m finishing up the last few right now.  

Customer: I can’t believe you’ve been doing this the whole time. I’m the customer! You’re supposed to take care of me! Don’t get distracted by other things, I was here first!! 

Oven Ready

Customer: I want to return this frozen turkey. I was told it was ready to cook.  

Me: You don’t have to do anything. It is ready to cook.  

Customer: I took it out of the freezer and put it in the oven. It came out like this.  

Me: Well, you have to thaw it.  

Customer: That’s not oven ready. 

(I look at the turkey. It’s covered in partially burned paper and melted netting. ) 

Me: Um....you have to take it out of the packaging before you cook it.  

Customer: That’s not oven ready.  

One Word... Plastics

Customer: Where are your briskets?

Me: Right here!

Customer: That can't be right.

Me: What's wrong?

Customer: (looking at the vacuum packed Brisket and the vacuum packed eye of round beside it) No. No. No. No.

Me: I'm sorry?

Customer: Does all of your meat come like this?

Me: Like what?

Customer: In.....plastic?!?

Me: Um.....yes. All of our meat comes vacuum packed in plastic.

Customer: I don't think you can do that! That's not safe!

Me: Vacuum packaging ensures.....

Customer: I don't care about the vacuuming packaging...I care about the....the....plastic.

Me: It kinda has to be plastic if you want to seal out all of the air.

Customer: Well, maybe you should only get in what you need. Like one piece of the cow at a time.