My name is Andy and I am a butcher. That’s right, I’m a butcher. I know, I know. You’ve never actually met anyone who was butcher, but here I am. For 20 years I have manned a meat and seafood counter at a grocery store. While manning said counter, I provide an important service. I’m not talking about giving people meat and seafood to eat. No, I do something far more important. I deal with the general public, so you don’t have to.
People are smart, but something happens to the average person when they transform into……a customer. It’s unavoidable. NO matter who you are, or what you do, once you become a customer, you become one of them.
Here’s my definition of a customer:
Customer: (Noun) A person with a glorious, amazing absence of self awareness.
I’ve dealt with my fair share of mean customers, total jackasses looking to ruin some poor clerk’s day. That is not what this site is about. This site features the other type of customer. The idiots. The harmless, gently annoying, eye roll inducing, face palm creating, customers. The stories are 100% true. They are presented to you as cautionary tales.
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Andy Livengood is an comedian (and butcher) in Charleston, SC. He studied improv comedy at Theatre 99 (Charleston), The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre (NY), and the Annoyance Theatre (Chicago). He was voted Charleston’s Best Comic by the readers of the Charleston City Paper. Andy has been performing comedy for 13 years and has been a butcher for 20.