And Another Thing

Customer: I want this chicken breast. 

Me: Yes, sir!

(I bag it up.)

Customer: And this one. And this one. And this one. 

(I undo the bag and grab the other chicken breasts) 

Customer: That’s all. 

(I print out the label.) 

Customer: I want this one too. 

(I throw away the label, undo the bag, and get the other breast.)

Me: Anything else? 

Customer: No. 

Me: Here you go! 

Customer: Bag then 2 in one bag, 3 in another. 

(I throw away the new label, undo the bag, and separate them)

Sound Of Silence

Me: Hi! How are you today?

(The Customer looks up at me, says nothing, then looks back down.)

Me: (10 seconds later) Can I get you anything today?

(Customer looks up at me then looks back down.)

Me: (10 seconds later) : Just let me know if you need anything.

(Looks up and down again)

(I walk away)

Customer: Come back! I need help.

Me: What can I get you?

(Customer looks up at me, says nothing, looks back down.)

(I stand there while she shops around. She leaves without saying anything.)

Can You Be More Specific

Customer: I need to put in an order for some fondue meat. 

Me: Sure thing! How much are you looking to get?  

Customer: A lot!  

Me: Um...okay. How much is that?  

(Blank Stare)  

Me: How many people are you  serving?  

Customer: A bunch!  

Me: If you tell me a rough estimate, I can figure out how much you need. Roughly, 8oz is a serving size.  

(Blank Stare)  

Customer’s Wife: Jesus, Ed. It’s not that hard. We’re serving 7 people for Christmas.  

Me: Okay. I can do that! When would you like to pick it up?  

Customer: The 21st, the 22nd, or the 23rd. Or maybe I’ll come in on the 24th! I’ll let you know when I show up!! 



Mind Reading

Me: How can I help you?

Customer: I want a large one.

(I look to see if she’s pointing to something in the case and I just can’t see it. She is not.)

Me: What kind of steak?

Customer: Like not a small one.

Me: I don’t know what kind of steak you want.

Customer: A large one.

Me: No. I mean do you want a strip steak, ribeye, sirloin fillet, or tenderloin.

Customer: Sirloin, obviously.

Me: Coming right up!