Keep Digging

Customer: (looking at empty case) Where the hell is everything? I want seafood. 

Me: We’re not open yet, but I can get anything you need. I’m working to get the stuff out so we can open in two hours. 

Customer: Salmon. 

(I haven’t set up the fish yet, so I have to dig through several bins to find it.) 

Customer: Wait. How much is that a pound? 

(It’s a new sale, so I dig through the price tags to find the right one.) 

Me: It’s....$8.99. 

Customer: I’ll take it. 

(I hand him his salmon.)

Customer: You know, it would be a lot easier if that stuff was in the case. Don’t want to tell you your job, but all that searching around wastes time. 

To Bacon, or Not To Bacon

(The department has been closed for 30 minutes. I’m cleaning up before I leave)

Customer: Hey man. Where’s the good bacon?!

Me: It’s in the back, I pulled it after I closed. I have hickory smoked and maple chipotle. Which kind did you want? 

Customer: Chipotle. Half a pound. 

(I go into the back, unwrap the pan, get him half a pound, rewrap the pan.) 

(5 mins later, he comes back) 

Customer: (handing me the bacon) I don’t want the bacon.  

Me: Okay. 

(Ten minutes later, he comes back) 

Customer: Can I get half a pound of the hickory bacon? 

Be Careful

(I am frantically cutting meat trying to fill a counter after 3 days of snow, no trucks, and tons of business. )

Me: Can I help you?

Customer: Yeah. You’re cutting what I need. 

Me: Top sirloin? 

Customer: Oh, I thought that was fillet mignon. 

Me: It’ll take me 10 minutes, but I can cut you a few. 

Customer: I’ll wait. 

Me: Okay. 

Customer: You know, I went to my office on Broad Street this morning. The sidewalks are so icy. 

Me: Yeah. It’s pretty rough out there. 

Customer: It’s really dangerous. There is no reason that anyone should be out on the roads. 

Me: Yeah….um….here’s your steak. Be safe out there. 

And Another Thing

Customer: I want this chicken breast. 

Me: Yes, sir!

(I bag it up.)

Customer: And this one. And this one. And this one. 

(I undo the bag and grab the other chicken breasts) 

Customer: That’s all. 

(I print out the label.) 

Customer: I want this one too. 

(I throw away the label, undo the bag, and get the other breast.)

Me: Anything else? 

Customer: No. 

Me: Here you go! 

Customer: Bag then 2 in one bag, 3 in another. 

(I throw away the new label, undo the bag, and separate them)