Real Stories. Real Customers. Real Funny.
Customer: Where are you getting your shrimp?
Me: It’s coming from Wadmalaw Island. (Which is about 18 miles away)
Customer: Ugh! No thanks! I only like local shrimp! Me: Well, it is local-
Customer: (Walking away) It’s ridiculous you can’t get any LOCAL shrimp these days!
(The store has been opening an hour early so that senior citizens can shop.)
Customer: Why don’t you have any chickens?!
Me: My truck isn’t here yet.
Customer: You should get your trucks early!
Me: They used to come in at 5am, but the neighborhood complained about hearing the trucks. They threatened to stop shopping if we didn’t change it. Now they can’t come in before 8.
Customer: ….I remember voting in favor of that..
Customer: Is the “Alaskan King Crab Legs” local?
Customer: Is this “Argentina Pink Shrimp” cooked?
Me: No ma’am. It’s naturally that red color.
Customer: I’ll take a pound.
(I give it to her)
Customer: This is local?
Me: Um...no...it’s from Argentina.
Customer: I thought that was a brand name. Never mind, I don’t want it.
Customer: Do you have local shrimp?
Me: Yes ma’am.
Customer: Which one is it? (Reading signs) The Argentina pink shrimp? Or the one with the local flag sticking out of it?
Customer: Do you have more fresh shrimp?
Me: No, sir. We just started getting the fresh shrimp back in. This was the only box since the storm. We’ll start getting them regularly in a day or so.
Customer: That’s terrible! You can’t treat me like this; I own a business downtown!!
Customer: Where’s your local salmon?
Me: We don’t get salmon from around here.
Customer: Why the hell not?!
Me: There isn’t salmon that comes from Charleston.
Customer: You don’t know what you’re talking about!! I’ve gotten Cooper River Salmon here before. The Cooper River is right out back! I mean, hello?
Me: We get Copper River Salmon from the Copper River in Alaska. The season opens up next month.
Customer: You guys should label it better.
Customer: Is this shrimp local?
Me: Are you pointing to the ones on your right? Because those are local.
Customer: I’m pointing at the ones with the little “local flags” on top of them.
Me: ....Yes. Those are local.
Me: Hi! How can I help you?
Customer: Is this shrimp raw?
Me: Yes, Ma'am. I have some cooked over here, if that was what you wanted.
(She looks at the cooked shrimp)
Customer: Welcome to Charleston!!!!!!
(She walks away)
Customer: Is this Wreckfish east coast or west coast Wreckfish?
Me: (gesturing to the sign that says “Local Item”) It’s local! We just got it in.
Customer: Sooooooo.....it’s......
Me: It’s east coast Wreckfish.
Customer: You really should put that on the sign. Might sell some more.
Customer: This is crap! Look at this! This is disgraceful!
Me: Um..I’m sorry?
Customer: Look at all this FARM RAISED SHRIMP!!! Imported from Asia! This company should be ashamed of itself. What about wild caught local shrimp. This is disgusting!
Me: I have wild caught shrimp right here. It’s wild caught from Georgia. We haven’t started getting local shrimp yet, but this is fresh and wild caught.
(He stares at the shrimp and the $10.99 price tag.)
Customer: (After a few seconds) I’ll take a pound of the $6.99 shrimp.
Me: Yes sir.
(I get him a pound of the farm raised $6.99lb shrimp from Thailand.)